Hey YAPC, it's me.

I'm in uh, Washington State.  Near Seattle.

Anyway I've been thinking about you a lot, and I've been needing to tell you something.  I don't know why I haven't, but it's important, I mean, we've been together for so long, almost 10 years, and I still haven't told you, and it's just not right, so, here goes.

2

8

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

I'm sorry but it's true

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

I'm not imagining it's you

6

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

On XP, on a Zune, 'neath a Vista of the Moon

Coding Basic Visually, and it all runs in IE

8

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

While you're drinking Diet Snapple

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

Hey YAPC, how do you like them apples?

8

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

As I'm playing on my harp

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

And I'm coding in C sharp

Last week when I replied to a bug report for Mac::Glue, I was fucking Steve Ballmer

Last month when you flew back and forth like an idiot between YAPC::Asia and YAPC::Russia, I was definitely fucking Steve Ballmer

When I told you I was fucking Steve Ballmer, I was fucking Steve Ballmer

On XP, on a Zune, 'neath a Vista of the Moon

Coding Basic Visually, and it all runs in IE

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

I'm fucking Steve Ballmer

I love Redmond!

So, that's it.  I think I was clear.  Um.  Anyway, um, you know, we had a great run, YAPC.  And I hope there's no hard feelings, I hope we can be friends.  I'm friends with all my old conferences.  MacWorld.  LinuxWorld.  The Perl Conference.  So.  If anything isn't clear, you need closure of some kind, please, please, let's do lunch at the Visual Studio Developer Conference.

So, take care ... oops, YAPC, we're out of time.  Sorry.  I need to put this guitar down and go fuck Steve Ballmer.  See you, YAPC.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1uCjq96Jes

http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Movies/FSB/FSB-s.m4v

http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Movies/FSB/FSB-l.m4v

http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Movies/FSB/FSBU-l.m4v

http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Movies/FSB/FSB-l-test.m4v

http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Music/FSB/FSB.zip

http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Music/FSB/FSB.aif.zip